Kidolife 5

I'm so gonna be dead tonight. I'm glad I had a good week.

Had a car accident on friday night, which was supposed to be like...everything was just so fine that week. Everything went well, I was in a good mood, looking forward to what's coming up. Then...BAM!

So there goes my car. So sick.
So my mood was affected. But I'm still quite happy for the weekend.
Sleepovers, Genting...I had fun.
Those can cover up the sadness of my car crash, more than enough. :)

So I'm gonna tell my parents about the car crash later.
Wish me luck!

Kidolife 4

I went to get a new pair of glasses today.
My glasses have always been...not the most expensive ones, but not cheap either.
I don't change glasses often.
The one I'm having right now was bought more than 6 years ago, so I guess it is worth the money.
After 6 years of having frameless glasses, I decided to go for a change.
I guess the boss would wish that every customer is like me...in a certain way.
I spent lots of time choosing between 2 different pair of glasses.
After like about 1 hour, I got Carl Zeiss Lens + Tag Heuer frame.
Sounds pretty cool?
The price sounds even cooler.
Not for the fainted heart.
RM1750.
See?
For a pair of glasses.
Hope it'll be worth the money.
After a few hours which is now, I'm feeling a little regret...
That is indeed a little pricey for a pair of glasses...
I'm really sorry...==

I've spent alot of money these 2 years.
Work And Travel USA, Diving Course, new phone, new glasses...they costed like...80% of my degree course fee...SHIT!!!!
I don't know about others but that is quite alot of money to me...
For the first time I'm gonna say to my parents...I'm really sorry...==

Kidoworld 13

As an Actuarial Science student, we learn about making estimations based on past experience, to predict the future outcome, the worst scenario, and take precautions if it happens.

So I only had 1 past experience, I wonder how people make estimation based on just 1 past experience. The sample size isn't random enough, can not reflect anything. It did show the worst outcome, that I was totally down in it and spent lots of my time living in it, and might possibly continue to live with it, till who knows when.

Perhaps there's some traits.
Well of course I knew some of them myself.
Yet I'm quite surprised that people actually realize too.

If the possibility is not 0, anything can happen.
So, I will not doubt the possibility.
0.01% perhaps.
I hope it doesn't happen.

Human are greedy.
Everything starts out as a spark. We expect spark to just go off in a short while, so we don't have much hopes. When the spark turns into flame, we hope it'll burn, burn longer. We hope that the flame would go on and on and never go off. We hope that the flame will burn everything, keep things hot and passionate. But it didn't. It stopped after a while. The only thing that got burnt was ourselves.

Burnt wound don't always heal completely. Sometimes they leave scars, scars that will always be there. We couldn't make the scars dissappear, we can only hope for someone who sees it, and accepts it.

Kidolife 3

So, I went for a holiday, alone.
I went to Perhentian, where my friends are working there, and there's this beach, what not.
I took an Open Water course, and now I'm a certified Open Water Diver. :)
I have to admit that it was kinda lonely going alone, especially when diving, cause there's no one to share the things you saw in the water.
Guess that's the thing about being alone, there's just no one to share with, good or bad.
For the first time, I've gotta admit that I was feeling kinda lonely cause there's no one to talk to.
Other than that, all was well.
It was a really relaxing trip, all I do is just sleep, eat, dive...and repeat the same thing again.
Spent the nights sitting on the beach, listening to the waves.
It was cloudy so there's no star...maybe it's a good thing orelse I'm gonna spend forever on the beach..hahaha
Then I came back, alone, darker, and learned something new. :)
Last but not least, my dive instructor was kinda cute...:P

Kidoworld 12

最近有点觉得，生活很空洞。
其实一直以来的生活都是如此。
可以说是自由、无拘无束，也可以说是漫无目标、浑浑噩噩。

上个星期，差点发疯了。
觉得生活欠缺了一些事情，缺少了一些，追寻的目标。

也许我应该离开都市生活几天，冷静一下。
就很突然的请了几天假，安排了一个人的旅行。
明天晚上就出发，希望回来后我会对生活有所改观。

我们见面了，说了一些话。
感觉上还不错。
就这样慢慢的，或许真的会好一点。

还有，也许单身太久，有点忘了有人在身边是什么感觉……哈哈
单身也不是不好，但也是时候学习和人相处了？
不过就像某人说的，我要喜欢人，还真是不容易。
也没很挑阿？哈哈
总有一天，我会遇到我喜欢的，另一个人。^^

Kidoworld 11

"Everyone should move on.
Since she already did and you don't think she's the one, what's there to wait for?"
Quoted from a friend.

And I answered:
"I'm just waiting for someone to talk me out of it, or the time to come."

She might not be the first one to tell me that.
Perhaps she's the one, perhaps the time has come.
And I made my first step.

No one asked what my first step was, or is.
She did. She told me to smile.
I like how things are so simple and how she don't know about anything.

My first step would never have come so soon if it wasn't for her, perhaps.
So I thanked her.

I made my first step.
I hope that things will get better.

There's just this one last thing I wanted to ask.
Have I not moved on all these years?

Kidoworld 10

At this point I'm like...oh shit...why do I always have to tell people about my things...and why did I have to cry in front of someone i barely know??!!!
Not once but twice!! Damn it!
Now I look like a kid more than ever, who is just so stupid and couldn't get over some...people.

Ok it may be the truth but seriously, I'm working on it.
Life has more important things now. :)
I just gonna make sure that last night it will be the last time I cry for her, that's it.

I'm gonna make the first move sooner or later.
Better sooner than later, cause it does no good to me at all.
And most importantly, I need to stop acting like a baby in front of people.
No more tears, no more crying.
Time for vulnerability has ended.

Seriously, I'll just need to get over it.
I promise myself there'll be no third time!!!
No more stupid stories.

I shall, from today onwards, do whatever I can to stop making people think I'm cry baby!!!! No more!!!!

Kidoworld 9

最近喝了好多酒……至少每个星期都在喝。
其实也不算太多，但对我而言，是非常多。

最近认识了一个朋友，一个超爱喝酒的朋友。
在我人生中，除了我的兄弟以外，我是第一次遇见这么爱喝酒，而又承认的人。
刚开始就只是因为她找不到朋友陪她喝，就找了我们。
就这样喝，喝，再喝。

我酒量不好，也喝不出酒有什么好喝，还是在喝。
也许生活最近多姿多彩了，有时候呆在家里觉得好奇怪。
更奇怪的是，我竟然会有这种想法。

以前喝了酒会睡得很好，现在也一样。
最不一样的是，现在第二天醒来，我会很精神。
是酒精作祟吗？那作用也太慢了吧？

虽然还不至于酒后乱性，还是觉得好奇怪。
然后看过了那么多人喝酒，真的相信酒真会让人乱性。
我相信我不会。
喝过就算。
喝了就呕，能怎么乱？哈哈！

Kidoworld 8

There are things in life, things you've known, things you've accepted, things you've understood about it, consequences, circumstances, causes...everything about it.

You knew about it so well, so well you think nothing would make a difference, nothing new would make the slightest change that you didn't expect.

And one day, you talked about it.
You talked about it so well, so fluently, so clearly, that you realize it is irreversible.
And you cried.
Tears kept falling down.
You just couldn't control it.
And you think you knew everything about it.
And you did.
When you think about it, you cried even worse.
You cry like a baby, you couldn't stop your tears, you couldn't stop the sob, there's nothing you can do, other than crying nonstop.

And you thought you knew everything about it.
Yet you cried.
The fact is, you couldn't get over it.
You're mature enough to think about it, you're mature enough to cope about it.

Sometimes life isn't about maturity.
You're in your twenties, and you cried like it's a matter of teenagers.
You cried in front of your friends, you cried in front of strangers, and you don't care.
The one thing you know at that moment, you're crying nonstop.
You don't care if everyone's looking at you.
You just cried nonstop.
The truth that hurts the most, you know no matter how hard you cry, things will always be the same, things will always be the way you know about it.
It's just that... The moment you speak it, it is irreversible, and you cry.

Kidoworld 7

从前的生活很简单，想法也很简单。
脑袋空空的，让我拥有一颗空荡荡的心，很容易地就笑了。

现在的生活，没有很苦，没什么不好，也没有什么一定要想的东西，但就是笑不出来了。
哭，也没有。
就空空的，一天一天地过。

如果不能让我恢复从前的“赤子之心”，请让我找到期待明天的目标！