"Everyone should move on.
Since she already did and you don't think she's the one, what's there to wait for?"
Quoted from a friend.
And I answered:
"I'm just waiting for someone to talk me out of it, or the time to come."
She might not be the first one to tell me that.
Perhaps she's the one, perhaps the time has come.
And I made my first step.
No one asked what my first step was, or is.
She did. She told me to smile.
I like how things are so simple and how she don't know about anything.
My first step would never have come so soon if it wasn't for her, perhaps.
So I thanked her.
I made my first step.
I hope that things will get better.
There's just this one last thing I wanted to ask.
Have I not moved on all these years?
Monday, September 19, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Kidoworld 10
At this point I'm like...oh shit...why do I always have to tell people about my things...and why did I have to cry in front of someone i barely know??!!!
Not once but twice!! Damn it!
Now I look like a kid more than ever, who is just so stupid and couldn't get over some...people.
Ok it may be the truth but seriously, I'm working on it.
Life has more important things now. :)
I just gonna make sure that last night it will be the last time I cry for her, that's it.
I'm gonna make the first move sooner or later.
Better sooner than later, cause it does no good to me at all.
And most importantly, I need to stop acting like a baby in front of people.
No more tears, no more crying.
Time for vulnerability has ended.
Seriously, I'll just need to get over it.
I promise myself there'll be no third time!!!
No more stupid stories.
I shall, from today onwards, do whatever I can to stop making people think I'm cry baby!!!! No more!!!!
Not once but twice!! Damn it!
Now I look like a kid more than ever, who is just so stupid and couldn't get over some...people.
Ok it may be the truth but seriously, I'm working on it.
Life has more important things now. :)
I just gonna make sure that last night it will be the last time I cry for her, that's it.
I'm gonna make the first move sooner or later.
Better sooner than later, cause it does no good to me at all.
And most importantly, I need to stop acting like a baby in front of people.
No more tears, no more crying.
Time for vulnerability has ended.
Seriously, I'll just need to get over it.
I promise myself there'll be no third time!!!
No more stupid stories.
I shall, from today onwards, do whatever I can to stop making people think I'm cry baby!!!! No more!!!!
Sunday, September 04, 2011
Kidoworld 9
最近喝了好多酒……至少每个星期都在喝。
其实也不算太多,但对我而言,是非常多。
最近认识了一个朋友,一个超爱喝酒的朋友。
在我人生中,除了我的兄弟以外,我是第一次遇见这么爱喝酒,而又承认的人。
刚开始就只是因为她找不到朋友陪她喝,就找了我们。
就这样喝,喝,再喝。
我酒量不好,也喝不出酒有什么好喝,还是在喝。
也许生活最近多姿多彩了,有时候呆在家里觉得好奇怪。
更奇怪的是,我竟然会有这种想法。
以前喝了酒会睡得很好,现在也一样。
最不一样的是,现在第二天醒来,我会很精神。
是酒精作祟吗?那作用也太慢了吧?
虽然还不至于酒后乱性,还是觉得好奇怪。
然后看过了那么多人喝酒,真的相信酒真会让人乱性。
我相信我不会。
喝过就算。
喝了就呕,能怎么乱?哈哈!
其实也不算太多,但对我而言,是非常多。
最近认识了一个朋友,一个超爱喝酒的朋友。
在我人生中,除了我的兄弟以外,我是第一次遇见这么爱喝酒,而又承认的人。
刚开始就只是因为她找不到朋友陪她喝,就找了我们。
就这样喝,喝,再喝。
我酒量不好,也喝不出酒有什么好喝,还是在喝。
也许生活最近多姿多彩了,有时候呆在家里觉得好奇怪。
更奇怪的是,我竟然会有这种想法。
以前喝了酒会睡得很好,现在也一样。
最不一样的是,现在第二天醒来,我会很精神。
是酒精作祟吗?那作用也太慢了吧?
虽然还不至于酒后乱性,还是觉得好奇怪。
然后看过了那么多人喝酒,真的相信酒真会让人乱性。
我相信我不会。
喝过就算。
喝了就呕,能怎么乱?哈哈!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Kidoworld 8
There are things in life, things you've known, things you've accepted, things you've understood about it, consequences, circumstances, causes...everything about it.
You knew about it so well, so well you think nothing would make a difference, nothing new would make the slightest change that you didn't expect.
And one day, you talked about it.
You talked about it so well, so fluently, so clearly, that you realize it is irreversible.
And you cried.
Tears kept falling down.
You just couldn't control it.
And you think you knew everything about it.
And you did.
When you think about it, you cried even worse.
You cry like a baby, you couldn't stop your tears, you couldn't stop the sob, there's nothing you can do, other than crying nonstop.
And you thought you knew everything about it.
Yet you cried.
The fact is, you couldn't get over it.
You're mature enough to think about it, you're mature enough to cope about it.
Sometimes life isn't about maturity.
You're in your twenties, and you cried like it's a matter of teenagers.
You cried in front of your friends, you cried in front of strangers, and you don't care.
The one thing you know at that moment, you're crying nonstop.
You don't care if everyone's looking at you.
You just cried nonstop.
The truth that hurts the most, you know no matter how hard you cry, things will always be the same, things will always be the way you know about it.
It's just that... The moment you speak it, it is irreversible, and you cry.
You knew about it so well, so well you think nothing would make a difference, nothing new would make the slightest change that you didn't expect.
And one day, you talked about it.
You talked about it so well, so fluently, so clearly, that you realize it is irreversible.
And you cried.
Tears kept falling down.
You just couldn't control it.
And you think you knew everything about it.
And you did.
When you think about it, you cried even worse.
You cry like a baby, you couldn't stop your tears, you couldn't stop the sob, there's nothing you can do, other than crying nonstop.
And you thought you knew everything about it.
Yet you cried.
The fact is, you couldn't get over it.
You're mature enough to think about it, you're mature enough to cope about it.
Sometimes life isn't about maturity.
You're in your twenties, and you cried like it's a matter of teenagers.
You cried in front of your friends, you cried in front of strangers, and you don't care.
The one thing you know at that moment, you're crying nonstop.
You don't care if everyone's looking at you.
You just cried nonstop.
The truth that hurts the most, you know no matter how hard you cry, things will always be the same, things will always be the way you know about it.
It's just that... The moment you speak it, it is irreversible, and you cry.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Kidoworld 7
从前的生活很简单,想法也很简单。
脑袋空空的,让我拥有一颗空荡荡的心,很容易地就笑了。
现在的生活,没有很苦,没什么不好,也没有什么一定要想的东西,但就是笑不出来了。
哭,也没有。
就空空的,一天一天地过。
如果不能让我恢复从前的“赤子之心”,请让我找到期待明天的目标!
脑袋空空的,让我拥有一颗空荡荡的心,很容易地就笑了。
现在的生活,没有很苦,没什么不好,也没有什么一定要想的东西,但就是笑不出来了。
哭,也没有。
就空空的,一天一天地过。
如果不能让我恢复从前的“赤子之心”,请让我找到期待明天的目标!
Sunday, August 07, 2011
Kidoworld 6
Haven't heard a news since quite sometime ago.
Are you doing fine?
Listening to songs always reminds me of things.
And things don't come alone, they link.
Couldn't help but be amazed by how much I remembered what you said, and how I did not show that I actually heard them.
Everything that I remember, doesn't matter anymore.
How could I face someone that I loved, that I've been telling everyone that I love her, and never really showed her.
Virgo really sucks.
You did all you can, I did not.
I'm sorry.
I know it couldn't cure a thing, and you've moved on to a better life.
Just wanna say that I missed you, and you'll never know.
Are you doing fine?
Listening to songs always reminds me of things.
And things don't come alone, they link.
Couldn't help but be amazed by how much I remembered what you said, and how I did not show that I actually heard them.
Everything that I remember, doesn't matter anymore.
How could I face someone that I loved, that I've been telling everyone that I love her, and never really showed her.
Virgo really sucks.
You did all you can, I did not.
I'm sorry.
I know it couldn't cure a thing, and you've moved on to a better life.
Just wanna say that I missed you, and you'll never know.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Kidolife 2
It's been 2 months since I started working. Everything was fine and I'm doing much better now.
Kinda glad to the fact that I came in during peak period, that I have really lotsa practice and learned quite alot.
After all those technical stuffs, it's time for some practical.
Things I'm currently doing requires judgement and decisions, I don't really like it though cause it made me see how fussy and troublesome people can be.
On the other hand, I like how I am able to have some discussion with my supervisor, even though my opinions may be incorrect...discussions make me feel like I've learn something and that is good enough.
A friend of mine hasn't been feeling very well for the past few days...get well soon!
Kinda glad to the fact that I came in during peak period, that I have really lotsa practice and learned quite alot.
After all those technical stuffs, it's time for some practical.
Things I'm currently doing requires judgement and decisions, I don't really like it though cause it made me see how fussy and troublesome people can be.
On the other hand, I like how I am able to have some discussion with my supervisor, even though my opinions may be incorrect...discussions make me feel like I've learn something and that is good enough.
A friend of mine hasn't been feeling very well for the past few days...get well soon!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Kidoworld 5
累了吗?
不累。
为什么?
爱。
真的爱吗?
真的。
为什么?
没有。
那一种爱,会不会是一种心结?
不会。
为什么?
我的爱,是放不开,是想不开,但仍旧是切切实实的爱。
如果我对你的爱,在这一刻,是心结,谁能来把这个节打开。
我相信没人能打开,因为这不是一个结。
不累。
为什么?
爱。
真的爱吗?
真的。
为什么?
没有。
那一种爱,会不会是一种心结?
不会。
为什么?
我的爱,是放不开,是想不开,但仍旧是切切实实的爱。
如果我对你的爱,在这一刻,是心结,谁能来把这个节打开。
我相信没人能打开,因为这不是一个结。
Monday, July 11, 2011
Kidoworld 4
很多的第一次,是我早该做的,是我一直认为应该和你做的。
但是,太迟了。
我真的太迟了。
很多的第一次,以为都会和你一起,结果,我错了。
很庆幸,我们也真的有过了很多的第一次。
多么希望,那些第一次,会一直持续下去,永远都会,和你在一起。
但是,太迟了。
我真的太迟了。
很多的第一次,以为都会和你一起,结果,我错了。
很庆幸,我们也真的有过了很多的第一次。
多么希望,那些第一次,会一直持续下去,永远都会,和你在一起。
Sunday, July 03, 2011
Kidoworld 3
认识了你,让我学会好多事情。
认识你的时候,我学会了心跳加速。
喜欢上你的那一刻,我学会了温柔。
爱上你的那一刻,我学会了要怎么爱。
和你在一起,我学会了开心、兴奋。
和你在一起,我学会为别人做一些事。
然后,我们分开了。
你并没有教我该怎么把破碎的心黏回去。
你也没教我怎么把你忘记。
一次又一次,你恨恨的教会了我流泪、心碎、然后崩溃。
虽然一直重复着,还是很庆幸是你让我学会了这些事情。
最难过的是,为什么让我学会珍惜的,偏偏也是你?
认识你的时候,我学会了心跳加速。
喜欢上你的那一刻,我学会了温柔。
爱上你的那一刻,我学会了要怎么爱。
和你在一起,我学会了开心、兴奋。
和你在一起,我学会为别人做一些事。
然后,我们分开了。
你并没有教我该怎么把破碎的心黏回去。
你也没教我怎么把你忘记。
一次又一次,你恨恨的教会了我流泪、心碎、然后崩溃。
虽然一直重复着,还是很庆幸是你让我学会了这些事情。
最难过的是,为什么让我学会珍惜的,偏偏也是你?
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